Why Being “Too Nice” is a Lie

Discovering the Balance in Kindness

Growing up, I was constantly told I was "too nice." At the time, I didn’t fully understand what that meant. How could anyone be too nice? What does that even look like—and how could it possibly be a bad thing?

Fast forward to my early 20s. I met someone who seemed confident and charming on the surface. However, underneath, he was dealing with his own demons. Unfortunately for me, his way of coping was to project those struggles onto others—me included.

As time went on, my desire to help grew stronger. I wanted to brighten his day in any way I could, even if it meant prioritizing his happiness over my own. As you can probably guess, the relationship ended. I was left feeling completely spent. I had nothing left to give anyone. That's when I finally understood what people meant when they said I was "too nice." But here’s the thing—I still didn’t agree with them.

The Misunderstanding of Kindness

To me, their words came from a place of fear and protection, not love. Deep down, it felt fundamentally wrong to limit my love, to pick and choose who deserved it. However, the relationship I had just ended left me feeling jaded and cynical... and I hated that feeling.

Then came my Yoga Teacher Training at Essence of Living with Michelle Cassidy—a beautiful soul and natural healer. She helped me reconnect with my true self. I rediscovered the version of me who loved being kind, who gave kindness freely and joyfully.

A Life-Changing Realization

During that journey, I discovered something important: Being “too nice” is a lie. Kindness is never the problem. The problem arises when you’re kind to everyone else—except yourself.

It becomes problematic when you give your love away but forget to give it to yourself. It happens when you prioritize everyone else's needs and ignore your own. It’s a concern when you engage in actions for others that go against your truth or your values.

That's when kindness begins to feel like a burden. People start to think being "too nice" is the issue—when really, it’s a lack of balance.

Finding Your Inner Kindness

So, my dear friend, next time you worry that you might be being too nice in a given scenario, ask yourself first: Am I giving myself the same amount of kindness? It's all about starting with yourself first.

Visualizing Your Kindness

If you're more of a visual learner, imagine every cell in your body filling with a warm, golden light. Let that light build until it overflows—until it has nowhere left to go but spill out into the world around you.

Let that be your kindness.

Let that be your light.

Let that be your 'too nice.'

When you live this way, you’ll be amazed at how much kindness finds its way back to you.

Let's not forget that it's essential to nurture kindness for ourselves, just as we do for others. This balance can transform the very notion of being "too nice" into a powerful force for good.

In conclusion, kindness should always start from within. This concept is crucial for personal growth and emotional well-being. When we ensure our own needs are met, we can extend genuine kindness to others, enriching both our lives and theirs.